Wheatlands News

In the weeks before I went to Uganda, I was really feeling like my life was an uphill struggle. I had lots of deadlines, lots to do and lots on my mind. And yes, I know that no deadlines = no work = not enough money = not much else. Maybe I was just tired. The trip to Uganda really opened my eyes to so many things: I was reminded how much I love teaching. I was reminded how fortunate I am. I was reminded how much joy there is in Africa, in spite of all the issues. This guy certainly looked like life was a bit of an uphill struggle, but he saw me photographing him as we passed him on the bus, and he flashed the biggest grin! I was interested to see the different forms of transport, from home made wooden wheelbarrows to bikes to the Buda Buda (scooters with lots of passengers) to minibus taxis to cars. And somehow in the disorder of a city with no urban planning and mostly sand roads, everything seems to work. But there is a caveat. Michael Totten's latest post was a timely reminder ...

I saw this sign on a lamp post in Uganda and it really got me wondering. Why, oh why would anyone want to gain a bum? And what does it mean? A bigger bum? An extra bum? There were similar signs (with different phone numbers) advertising "Gain hips quickly". Is that to accommodate the extra bum? I never saw any signs of mutant Ugandans though, so I'm not sure if the business is doing very well.

The Honourable Joseph Mugambe, head of the science and technology committee in the Ugandan Parliament is one of the first politicians I have met that I really enjoy listening to. In the past three days I have heard him speak four times and I'm quite disappointed that he won't be coming to speak again during the workshop. I'd never have believed that I could be sorry when an MP had to stop speaking! He's a tall man, with a wry sense of humour and he makes speeches that are peppered with a host of wonderful idioms. Every now and then as he speaks, he drops his voice to almost a whisper and leans forward across the podium so that each member of the audience feels that they - and only they - are privy to a very special secret. "People say you can take a horse to a well but you can't make him drink," he said. "But why do you want to take him to the well? You need to make the horse thirsty and then he will go to the well for himself." The early Christi...

I have this theory about South Africa. I think it has actually slipped into a parallel universe which hovers above the place where South Africa should be on the map. I'm in Uganda sharing writing skills with parliamentary researchers from 12 African countries and I feel like I have slipped into that warm-hearted, inspirational place that Africa should be. Those of you who are South African, can you remember when any complete stranger in smiled and greeted you in the street? Have you been made to feel totally welcome and appreciated by any South African recently? It's such a relief to be treated as an equal and welcome partner, rather than with the hostility and suspicion which has become the norm at home. It's just a pleasure to see people of all races, ages and sexes smile with genuine pleasure when they see each other. We've had a busy two days and this afternoon we managed to grab an hour to go shopping at the curio market. And it was there that I discovered that the...

I wanted to share this, emailed by a Safrea (South African Freelancers Association) member. Financial advice from Michael Millar from The Spectator If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95. With HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50, £1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5, but if you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £214. So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. PS... If you get this on Sunday, it's because I discovered I can post things in advance. Not because I discovered how to blog from 20 000 feet above Africa.

So, tomorrow I fly to Uganda and already I'm awash with useless information. Like, did you know that the word Kampala comes from the fact that there were so many impalas on the plains where it was built? One of the bits of information that I didn't know was that I'd need a yellow fever certificate, or else they'd inject me at the airport. I'm really scared of needles and I'm really scared of flying and now they're offering me a combination of the two??? Are they totally insane? (Actually, I'm not scared of flying, I'm scared of dying when I'm not ready. And I'm not ready yet, even if I do end up in a better place than here. And I don't like leaving Greg) The yellow fever thing was dropped casually into an email from one of the workshop organisers. That I got yesterday at about 8.30pm. And there's nowhere in the Swartland to get a yellow fever injection. And anyway after last year's debacle with Greg's accident I'd rather t...

Who knew? Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.   There's an advert on TV at the moment for a BBC Knowledge programme where the pirate says he is prone to "unnecessary violence". For some reason I find that really comical. Logically it makes no sense, but it makes me chuckle every time.   I'm not nice. I admit it.   The pirate also wears some really strangely fitting pants... he has the widest crotch I've ever seen. Maybe there's a link between feelings of violence and strange pants?   Sometimes the most respected of men are pirates: The picture is of Francis Drake, son of a preacher, first Englishman to circumnavigate the world and long-time enemy of the Spanish. He was one of Elizabeth I's blue-eyed boys. He was also a well known slave trader and pirate. His fortune was made when he raided a Spanish fleet in Panama and made off with all their gold. He left behind the silver, because it was too heavy to carry.   He ...